Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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