and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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