i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize