I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
