can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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