I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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