Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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