i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
