haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
