saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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