He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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