So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
