they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Less talking, more tequila
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
