You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
