Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
