gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
