i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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