oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
