Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
