My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
