Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Randomize
