I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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