i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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