dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
