Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize