oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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