Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
