I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
