How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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