Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
