He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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