thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
