So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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