problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Randomize
