it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
