Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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