Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
