i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Soap is not a condiment
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
