She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
