Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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