I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I currently don't understand fingers.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
