Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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