Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
