I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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