shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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