I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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