You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
