dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize