i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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