he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Fuck appropriateness.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
