im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
