hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
