you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
