If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Even my vagina gasped.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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