we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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