Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
