I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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