You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
