he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
