ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
