btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
