Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
