I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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