Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
