I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
