So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
