i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
