forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I smell stomach acid.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
