i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
