You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
