first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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