I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
