Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
