I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
