i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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