Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
