Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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