the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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