I need help removing her.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
